Tag Archives: Movies

MaliBoooooooooooo Ken

Yup your read that right.

I should have known that I had a Malibu’s Most Wanted on my hands when he started to recite UGK lyrics on our first text chat. But I just chucked it up to a person with a diverse playlist that thinks a great way to engage a black girl is to recite rap lyrics :/

I met Ken on Tinder, from what I heard is now hook up at. But less be real, I was looking for just a hook up because……………………………..lack of sex.

Ken was cute, enjoyed photography and had an amazing house in Malibu that overlooked the ocean. Ken would take me to some really nice restaurants in Los Angeles and spend tons of money on meals. Ken also would devour me in the bedroom. Can I just tell you after not being desired in the bedroom for a long time, MANNNNNNNNNNNNN did it feel great. I mean the man liked to eat, if you know what I am saying *wink.

So all of this, what would could be the problem?

Ken was the damn problem. Ken was a privileged white men who was born with a silver spoon that like black culture and therefore felt he had the right to speak about ……………………………………………………………..black culture. I would give the guys some credit if he did any work within the black community, but homie was too scared to even park is car near a Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles. I spent most of our dates drunk by the time dinner came because I couldn’t stand to hear someone speak about issues they have never lived or met someone who lived but read somewhere. It was draining. I couldn’t go more into detail on what our conversations were like, but it would have to be a whole new blog titled; How Not To Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Moscow Mule in Malibu; Boyz in Malibu That Listen to Music from the Hood; What your Fox News Facts has to do with it. <- if you do not get any of these references, you need to get a black friend.

This courtship only lasted 3 months. On our last encounter, I may have stopped him in the middle of talking and said, “I can’t continue”, Grabbed my wine and walked outside to call a uber. ( FYI I was at a restaurant and wine was not on the to go list)

I actually feel bad I even compared him to Malibu Most Wanted. At least he was culturally sensitive.

 

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Sleep to Dream

dicaprio-enter-dreams

Currently Listening To : Color Me Badd – I Wanna Sex You Up

So I have these crazy super realistic dreams. I say am going to try to write them down, but why not blog about it.

Dream:
So I am in a club and pick up this guy and take him back to my place. Instead of getting down and dirty right away, we watch Leonardo DiCaprio movies. I then proceed to turn to him and ask him what’s his favorite DiCaprio movie. All of a sudden the guy turns in to Leonardo DiCaprio. So I proceed to give him a blow job. (How can you pass up an opportunity at Gilbert’s Grapes) But instead of having one dick, there is two!!! TWO PENISES chunking the deuce towards my mouth.

What the hell kind of dream was that. So here is what I think the dream meant.

1. I felt bad about him not getting an Oscar so he got a blow job.
2. I had a hotdog craving
3. I’m pregnant (not really but don’t all dream books say your pregnant)
4. I just really need to get laid

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